Okay, so I've got a slightly slanted perspective on flying. My perspective is that of a mother of two young kids. So if you are reading this and you love flying United, I say this: You must be traveling sans children.
First let me say, I thought most of the airline staff was great—once we were in the air. That wasn't necessarily the issue. But here's my beef: they don't preboard kids. They preboard first class, which hey, okay you paid four times what I did for my ticket so you're entitled to special treatment. However I don't think you want to be comfortably settling in to your seat when I come down the aisle hitting you with my car seat and trying to wrangle two children running ahead of me into finding our seats. This is where the staff could be um, slightly more helpful. The aisles are very narrow and there is no conceivable way I can hold both my children's hands (heck, I can't even hold one of them) to guide them down the aisle.
So our boarding looks a little something like this: Ellie wanders aimlessly and bright-eyed afraid to advance down the aisle because she is overwhelmed by all the strangers and where to sit. Then there's me with a carseat slung over my back and holding our carry-on in my other hand while urging Ellie down the aisle. This is where the first-class passengers snarl at us. And then the first-class flight attendant smiles bitterly and says, "keep moving please." Of course, wild-boy Jonah is running amuck in and out of the aisles further annoying the first-class passengers and Dave is bringing up the rear with the rest of the carry-on and doesn't have a free hand. All this and we haven't even made it through business class yet. There, we go through much the same scenario.
Finally (and seemingly against all odds) we find our seats. This is just in time to get the carseat shimmied in while passengers flying coach wrestle with each other trying to get passed us to find their seats.
Here are my thoughts. Why don't you let the kids get on first? I would imagine that first class passengers would like to ride in peace. That's why they pay all that extra money. I think having my carseat (or one of my children) thwack them on the head might not be the best way to start off their 8 hour flight. But, hey, what do I know? Plus, why not have a flight attendant there to help you into your seat? Perhaps they could escort the kids? And they could hand them off to the next attendant in the next seat class (since I understand they're not allowed to leave their class). I dunno. All I know is that even Southwest lets kids board first (in fact United is the only airline I've
ever flown that hasn't allowed children to board first). And there's a smart reason for that.