On This Day 32 Years Ago

A child was born. A girl child. A pretty cute (and might I add witty and smart and clever while I'm at it because you know, I have a fairly large ego I need to stroke here) chubby cheeked girl child.

Can I just say that the first thought I had this morning upon waking up to a world in which I'm 32 was...actually my first thought was, egads, perhaps I shouldn't have had that third glass of wine last night followed by gee do my teeth feel smooth after the cleaning I got yesterday at the dentist's. All that scraping, while as painful to my ears as nails on a chalkboard, must have really paid off. Okay so the point here is that my third thought was, oh, my poor, poor dear mother. 'Cause now that I'm a mom myself, I realize just how hard your kids' birthdays are on you. Those seemingly innocuous little celebrations remind you just how fast the years fly right by.

So I thought back to what it must have been like in the mid 70s. A 20 (almost 21 year old) married gal giving birth to her first baby—her husband getting ready to ship off and having to deliver in a naval hospital with the bad service and equally terrible staff.

Okay wait. Back up. Forget about that classic labor and delivery memories stuff for a minute. What about being constantly surrounded by bad hair and terrible clothing in every direction? Gah! Have you seen photos of pregnant women in the 70s? Ack! There was no Liz Lange back in the day. You were lucky to get a brown print with tiny white flowers all over in what I would only describe as a shapeless sack.

This was also the age of breastfeeding being taboo. To the point where you were actually separated from the moms who chose to bottle feed. As if you were somehow too dirty to be around the formula feeders. This was an era when being a mom did not enhance your hottness. The term hot mom* (I would use the term MILF here but you know, my ma might read this and then I'd have to explain what that meant, and then it would just be awkward for both of us) did not exist.

I can't imagine. I don't think I would have made it. I mean, it was the age of Disco for cripes sake!

At 32 I have two kids. By the time my mom was 32 she had 4. FOUR!!! That's like...like, TWICE as many kids as I have. The 70's must have been a crazy, crazy time. That or my mom is a crazy, crazy lady.

Anyway, all of that is to say, Happy Momiversary Ma! Where would I be without you?

*Note to my Mom: just skip over what's written within these parentheses. Really, it's not that interesting anyway. Seriously, I'm sure you have a really great novel to get back to right about now. Or maybe Dad needs help finding the remote again—that or trying to figure out what to eat. Because as we know he would starve without you.