Marriage IV: When You're Left With Only Hidden Talent of the Stars to Watch

Him: Hey, check this out. I used to know every word of this.
Her: Did you notice how poorly acted it was even back then?
Him (wistfully): Yeah. (sighs) You know we used to watch this all the time in my adolescent years. This shaped who I am today.
Her: Uh-huh.
Him: I could ride the wall a little bit.
Her: You thought you could ride the wall.
Him: You're just like the girls back then.
Her: How come I've known you all these years and this is the first I'm hearing about this?
Him (shrugs): Dunno. I guess I forgot about it.
Her: Well I guess I can see the appeal for a kid. I mean it is rather comical.
Both simultaneously break out into laughter at the dialogue, then in unison: NO Waaay!

*Moral of the story, when there's only poorly acted and written shows on tv to watch do you find out that a poorly acted and written movie shaped your partner's very soul.

A Sucker

The other day whilst traveling the aisles of Target I spied a lip gloss that promised full luscious lips for only $9.99. And being the sucker for marketing that I am, I went back later to test out the product. Because beautiful packaging + clever name = money leaving my pocket.

Okay so I'm not ashamed (well maybe I am) to admit that I couldn't wait to try it out. So in the parking lot, I applied Soap & Glory's Motherpuckers and waited for the magic to happen. I have to say the first sensation was...well...that of my lips being electrocuted. Immediately I phoned my bff to give her a detailed description of my lip plumping transformation. Because she, (more worldly than I) had already warned me that lip plumping HURTS LIKE A B!TCH. I gave her a minute by minute blow of how it went from the feeling of my lips being hooked up to an electrical outlet to them feeling like I had just rubbed a freshly cut habanero pepper all over them to finally a heightened tingly sensation that while unpleasant, allowed me to stop screaming.

And what would you supposed I did with the gloss after all of this. Yes, that's right folks, I kept trying it to see what would happen.

So you be the judge. Ellie took these before and after shots for me (because yes, I force my children to go along on the crazy ride) and I'm not so sure the pain is worth it. I mean my lips look pretty much the same, no?

Camera phone collage

Some pics from the last 6 months or so, taken with my camera phone.

Charles & Marie

Super cool site that I just had to share with you all. Just check it out!

The Beautiful Wee Monster

A portrait of our little guy. This is definitely a transition phase for our J-man. He's potty training and doing pretty well, with the occasional soppy pant leg or shite-filled big boy underpants.

Here he is sporting his new big boy underpants look. At the time of the photo he was still adjusting to the responsibility of owning his bowels and bladder—rather than them owning him. I think you can see it in the eyes. A trace of fear, but a strong, subtle confidence.

Watch Out for Cyclists

Hello all. With the weather improving bit by bit, my mind is wandering to getting on the bike. The thing is, I have a family at home that I'd like to come home to when the ride is over.

Any one of you who has a loved one who rides probably realizes that cyclists have as much right to be on the road as cars do. But I can tell you that during every ride, some guy/gal behind the wheel takes risks to get past me, in order to get to where they are going 30 seconds faster.

Last September I was riding in Orange, Virginia. A small town in the middle of farm and wine country in central Virginia. At a stop sign, a southern gentleman told me that "there has to be a better place for you to ride than here." I told him that I'd take my chances here over a city any day. I thanked him for his concern, and as he drove away in his jacked up 4x4, he yelled "It's not concern if you're dead!" Though his statement is unintentionally cryptic, one message is clear: MOST DRIVERS WANT CYCLISTS OFF THE ROAD. And some, run them off.

Check this out. It's a public service announcement running in the UK.

Overheard on the Way Home

C (Ellie's Friend): Miss Jen, my imaginary friend came over for supper and a sleepover last night.
Me: What is your imaginary friend's name C?
C: Mimi.
Me: Oh. Ellie you have imaginary friends too don't you?
Ellie: Yes I have lots. Do you think C has a lot?
Me: I don't know, why don't you ask her?
Ellie (turns to her friend sitting next to her in the backseat): C, how many imaginary friends do you have?
C: Seven.
Ellie: I have 21.
C: Well I have 100.
Ellie (quietly): Hmmm. That's too many. (pauses) Is my number more than yours?
C: Did you mean you had a 121?
Ellie: Yeah. (confidently) One hundred and twenty one.
C: Well then that's more.
Ellie: Oh. Okay.
(Both girls giggle)
Friendship remains intact.

The Scene of the Accident

We found this after putting the kids to bed. We're not sure if Jonah or Diego was driving. Diego was released from the hospital this morning and is expected to make a full recovery.

Practice

The New Campaign

So here's the new Ellie Bellie Kids Campaign.* When it was first pitched to me, I was so gob smacked I think it took me a full minute to respond. I think it's perfect. Of course when you have an amazingly talented Creative Director, you expect nothing less.



*New website coming soon...